Of Angelpi and Qasalan Coffee
by Marie The Crocheter
Summary: Post-TFR. My first attempt at a story that stars canon characters! Hanso and Brynn are sent to Qasala to recover a dangerous artefact. Of course, things don't go very smoothly, especially for Hanso. Had trouble with the upload; 3rd time's the charm!


(This is my first time attempting to write with established characters, and was the result of me being bored and having waaaay too much time on my hands. Ahem. I submitted it to the NT as a two-part series, since it was a bit too long to be a short, so we'll see. And I enjoyed writing it so much that I'm already working on drafting up a sequel, haha.

This is my first time writing extensively about canon Neopets characters! I wasn't so sure about it at first, but writing from Hanso's POV is fun. Really, really fun. So fun that I wonder why I didn't do anything like this earlier!

This takes place a year or so after the events of _The Faeries' Ruin._

The author wishes to make it known that she does not condone mean pranks-but they sure are fun to write about! )

* * *

"The queen says she needs to speak with us! Apparently she has another mission for us."

Those words. They were short, simple sentences, but they filled him with both excitement and dread.

It wasn't the traveling that excited him. He'd been all over Neopia during his life, so visiting strange and exotic lands was nothing new to Hanso. True, he now got to see both sides of society; before, he'd been deeply involved with the seedy, not-too-pleasant side. He'd mingled extensively with fellow thieves, ruffians, and other unsavoury folks. Now he still got to mingle to them to an extent, but he _also_ had the privilege of being with the common people, the normal Neopians who lived normal lives. Oh, and he'd now met every royal family that he knew of, _and _was often surrounded by swarms of adoring fans and crazy fangirls.

He still had enemies, though. Brynn had commented on a number of occasions that she had no idea that one neopet could have so many adoring fans _and _sworn enemies at the same time.

"A mission, huh?" Hanso had been so bored that he was actually playing a card game with himself-something that he considered to be very, very low. It had been a few weeks since Queen Fyora had sent them anywhere, and it seemed that Brynn was always busy. Being the captain of the Faerieland guards was apparently a very tough job, and he wasn't allowed to help her as much as he wished. "So why don't you go talk to her?"

"Because she said she wanted to talk to _both_ of us!" Brynn said, beginning to sound exasperated. Then again, Hanso thought she sounded exasperated most of the time. She was a bit high-strung. "Come on, would you put those things away and come with me? It's urgent!"

"Okay, okay, it must be really important, huh?"

* * *

"Did she just want me there because she's sending us to one of my least favourite places in Neopia?" Hanso grumbled as he and Brynn left Fyora's meeting room.

"No, Hanso, I'm sure she just wanted you there because it sounds like it's something really dangerous."

"How dangerous could a _book _be?"

Brynn glared at him. "I seem to recall you saying the exact same thing about the Roo Island game room machine and the Clockwork Negg."

"Okay, you got me there. But still. A book-"

"-or scroll-"

"-whatever-could be easily destroyed, or forged, or whatever. Why do we need to check it out? Couldn't they just take care of it themselves? What if it's a fake? We'll have wasted our time!"

"And if it's not a fake or easily destroyed, all of Neopia could be in grave danger again." She reached out and touched his arm, spurring him to stop and look at her. "Hanso, you're just afraid to go to Qasala, aren't you?"

"I already said I don't like the place. So, yeah, I'm not too thrilled. But I'm not _afraid!_"

Brynn couldn't hide a wry smile. "It's because of King Jazan, isn't it?"

"No!" Hanso immediately protested, much louder than he'd intended. "I mean, no. He has nothing to do with it. I swear."

"Uh-huh. I don't believe you."

"Fine. Then don't believe me."

"Well, I _do_ at least hope you'll be on your best behaviour," Brynn said. "Will you be ready to leave tomorrow morning?"

"Sure, I'll be packed."

"Okay. I'll see you then. I have other things I need to attend to right now."

Brynn waved and then quickly walked off in another direction. Hanso waved back, then shoved his hands into his pockets and sighed deeply. This was going to be a _long_ trip, and he'd definitely have to do something nice for Brynn when it was over, since things rarely went as planned when they were in Qasala. Perhaps he could buy her a lot of fruity taffy, though he'd already done that a time or two and that wouldn't be fresh and exciting. Maybe he could get her a nice new sword. Or maybe he could even stick with his promise of going for a few weeks without "testing" some high-end shop's security system. Yeah, he'd probably go with that last one. It would be quite a sacrifice for him, but if it made Brynn happy, it was worth it.

* * *

The city of Qasala wasn't so bad. It was quieter and not as densely populated as Sakhmet. The spicy food and the dry, oppressive heat took some getting used to, but other than that, the city was pretty pleasant.

Brynn had given him a thorough rundown of their mission while en route. However, she didn't really know a lot about this mysterious tome that was apparently a threat to Neopia. The books in Faerieland and Brightvale mentioned it but gave few details, and a letter that Fyora had received from Finneus in Altador stated that he too had failed to find any useful information on it.

"So, basically, we're in the land whose principal export is cursed scrolls and books looking for a cursed scroll or book. You realise that we'll be lucky if we ever find it at all, right?"

Brynn shook her head. "We've got a lead, Hanso, which you'd know if you were actually listening to me!"

"I was listening. But I honestly don't think Jazan's gonna let us just waltz into his library to do research. Didn't you see how many guards he had posted around it last time we were there?"

"I think he was just afraid that a thief, that is, _you,_ would break into it and steal something."

"By that logic, he should keep it locked up all the time, 'cause last time I checked, Nabile used to be a thief, too."

"'Used to be' is the keyword there."

"But I'm not a...fine." Hanso had another snappy comeback, but Brynn's glare was enough to convince him that he was about to push things too far. "Well, why don't you talk to him?"

"Yes, that was our plan all along. Our first stop is the royal palace."

"This is gonna be _fun._" Hanso threw up his hands in an overly dramatic gesture, and that and the clear sarcasm in his voice almost got a chuckle from Brynn, who could help but give him a quick, reassuring hug.

"Only if you make it difficult for us." She let go of him and looked him square in the eye. "It's your choice, you know."

* * *

It was Queen Nabile who insisted that Brynn and Hanso stay as honoured guests at the palace, _and_ who insisted that Brynn be allowed special access into the otherwise forbidden library to do research on the dangerous scroll or book. The fact that they didn't yet even know if the artefact was a scroll or a book was a sign to Hanso that this search might take a long, long time.

To top it off, he wasn't allowed in the library. Being barred from a place had never stopped him from going there before, so he would just have to make sure he acted discreetly. A _real_ master thief would never be seen nor suspected.

The library itself was always kept under high guard, but there was a room in the back of the library that was kept under even heavier guard-in fact, it was locked and sealed with an elaborate security system that involved some hard-to-crack code involving a series of symbols that most people couldn't make heads or tails of. Hanso had always wondered why dangerous items were so often kept locked under such strange security systems. When these puzzles and symbols were released to the public, the public tended to make short work of them, rendering the codes utterly useless. Of course, someone as clever as Hanso could solve such riddles in mere _seconds._

Their first day there was uneventful, with Brynn spending most of her time in the library doing research, while Hanso roamed around the palace, taking in the sights and doing...things, things he'd better not tell Brynn about lest she again accuse him of trying to corrupt Neopia's youth. He was just trying to help them with this mission, but she would undoubtedly get the wrong idea, as she so often did.

On the second day, however, something changed.

That morning, there was a delivery to the palace-some exotic animal had been delivered all the way from Neopia Central to be added to the collection of royal petpets. Jazan and Nabile didn't keep many petpets, but they were proud of their collection. It was the species of this particular petpet that immediately struck terror into Hanso's heart.

"Brynn, did you see the petpet that got delivered here a little while ago?" Hanso interrupted Brynn's study session late that morning, having panicked so much that had carelessly almost let himself get caught sneaking into the library. He'd had to wait in hiding until the guards changed, since the new ones wouldn't recognise him so easily. Waiting had been torture, especially when Jazan happened to come by with his brand-new petpet.

"Huh? Oh, I heard something about that. What are you doing here, anyway?" Brynn asked, keeping her voice to a whisper so that they wouldn't be heard.

"I sneaked in, what else? That petpet, it's an angelpuss!"

Brynn's jaw dropped a little. "A...what? Are you sure?"

"I'm certain! I saw it! What's worse is that Jazan has been parading it around in public, like he's really proud of it or something."

Brynn sighed and buried her face in her hands. "Oh no. How do you feel?"

"...Just a little stuffed up."

"Well, try to stay away from it, please."

"Don't you think he's going to try to rub it in my face at every opportunity? How could he have known, anyway?"

"Maybe a little scarabug told him."

"Very funny, Brynn."

"Seriously, Hanso, I think you're being paranoid. Couldn't it just be a coincidence? You haven't told anyone but me about your allergies."

"Well, uh, I'm pretty sure a few other pets know... I mean, some pets _were_ around when I first discovered I was allergic to those stupid angelpi."

Brynn sighed heavily. "So you honestly think that someone who doesn't like you told King Jazan that you're allergic to angelpi, and so the king adopted an angelpuss for the sole purpose of making you miserable."

"Yeah. Exactly."

"You're crazy."

"No I'm not." He sneezed. "Ugh, it must be nearby again..."

"Why don't you go to Sakhmet and see if the medicine stall has anything that will help you with your allergies?"

"...Why don't we go together?"

Brynn looked puzzled. "Pardon?"

"Let's go together. We've hardly been able to chat lately, and I don't want to go by myself, anyway. I might be crushed by my adoring fans."

"Or your sworn enemies."

"That too. I have a lot of both here."

Brynn sighed as she thought it over. It only took her a few moments, but to Hanso, it seemed like an eternity. His eyes were beginning to water, and his head felt a little...muddled, to say the least. "All right" she finally said. "Let's go. I'll finish this later."

"Have you made much progress?" he asked as she stood up and stretched.

"Not really," she admitted. "This one's really a tricky puzzle. I can't even find out for certain what the scroll is called-I am pretty certain now that it's a scroll, at least. The scroll was written in an ancient language and apparently its title can be translated in multiple ways."

"That sounds like a head-scratcher."

"It is. It really is."

"I'd help you if I could, but..."

"Just stay out of trouble, please. That's all I want from you."

"That's a lot to ask for, don't you think?"

* * *

They managed to survive the trip to the medicine stall with no problems, but the medicinal herbs they received didn't help Hanso as much as they'd hoped. He was still suffering, and by the end of the day, everyone in the palace (and most of the people in Qasala, he was sure) knew about his allergy.

Though Hanso had rarely seen Jazan since their arrival, he just knew that the king _had _to be gloating over this. It could not possibly be a coincidence, as Brynn claimed. Jazan had discovered that Hanso, the greatest thief of all time, the saviour of the faeries, could be brought to his knees by an angelpuss. And Jazan wanted to make sure that everyone in Neopia knew that.

Several days passed. Then a week. Then another week. They were still in Qasala, and Brynn still wasn't much closer on finding much information on the scroll. Hanso was fairly certain that he knew where it was, and he was eager to leave, but since he wasn't 100% certain of its location, he refrained from taking action.

"I've given up on trying to translate the title of the scroll, and I'm just going to memorise what the symbols on the scroll look like so that I'll know what it looks like," Brynn told Hanso one morning before she headed off to the library. "I'm still not entirely sure where to look, but..."

"What if it's in that locked room in the back of the library?" Hanso asked. He was drinking a special tea made from a mixture of herbs that was supposed to help his allergies. He wasn't sure it really helped all that much, but it tasted a lot like root beer, so he didn't mind it at all.

"If I conclude that it's in there, then we'll have to tell Queen Fyora and ask for her advice on what to do."

"I think we should just take it."

"That would be stealing!"

"No, it's taking something that's not supposed to belong to him in the first place! One of his ancestors must have stolen it from the faeries, remember?"

Brynn glared at him. "No, Hanso, I'm not doing that. That's crossing the line."

"_You _wouldn't do it. _I_ would. Taking things secretly and without permission is _my _specialty, sweetheart. Not yours."

"But it might not even be in there. It might be somewhere else," Brynn said, apparently trying to change the subject. "We need to find out where it is before asking for the queen's direction."

"Yeah, well, if it's in the library, I'm taking it whether you like it or not. Or I will unless it's guarded by an army of angelpi. That would be the ultimate security system. And guess what? It might just keep me away."

"'Might'?"

"If it doesn't keep me away, it might make me get caught. It's not good to sneeze repeatedly while attempting a heist."

"I'd imagine not. Anyway, I'd better go to the library."

"Okay. I'll try to stay away from that angelpuss."

"And out of trouble."

"If I feel like it."

* * *

Thus, Hanso found himself all alone, again, on a walk around the palace. He thought about taking a look at the library's locked room's security system again, but with Brynn in there, he was likely to get caught. If that angelpuss wandered around nearby, he would _definitely _get caught. So he thought that it would be best to avoid it for now.

Coming upon a few royal servants talking in the corridor, Hanso overheard some interesting information.

"Are the preparations complete?" A short but intimidating yellow kacheek asked two others, a blue pteri and a brown ruki, who appeared to be on their way to the banquet hall. The pteri and ruki were laden down with a variety of cutlery and several bowls.

"Does it look like we're ready!" the ruki snapped. "We're hardly halfway done. The coffee is just about ready, but the snacks aren't and the table's not set! We have to keep the coffee warm while we finish, and can't let it spoil, or else the king will fire us for sure!"

"Not to mention, the guests have not yet arrived," the pteri added. "Princess Amira should have left by now, but we don't know when she'll be here."

Princess Amira was coming to visit? This was the first Hanso had heard of this. He hid behind a statue so he could continue to listen unseen.

"This is a disaster," the kacheek grumbled. "Keep the coffee warm. Princess Amira doesn't live far, so she's probably on her way. The coffee and snacks should be ready and waiting the moment our guests arrive, understand?"

"Yes, sir," the ruki and pteri said in unison before they darted into the banquet hall.

"Some kind of royal coffee party, and we weren't invited?" Hanso wondered aloud, softly, to himself. He'd never tried the Qasalan version of coffee, but it didn't really appeal to him. It looked thick and extremely strong. Jazan was always belittling the "watery" coffee or, worse yet, "sugary milk drink" that most referred to as "coffee." He liked his coffee to be strong and thick, with no trace of milk, and he wanted it to be bitter. As bitter as his soul, apparently.

An idea popped into Hanso's head, one that was so devious and diabolical that he initially tried to brush it off, but the more he thought about it, the more sense it made.

Sure, if he was caught, he'd probably never be allowed in Qasala again. And yes, Brynn would be extremely angry, but that would pass. She never stayed angry with him for long, no matter what he did. And there was a teeny tiny chance that this _might_ even help them find the artefact! Jazan might let them take it just to get rid of them. Honestly, Brynn couldn't possibly be angry with him if it helped them in their quest!

He would just have to make sure that he didn't get caught.

He was still behind the statue, which he now noticed was a larger-than-life likeness of none other that Jazan himself. What an ego that kyrii had, to put statues of himself in his own palace! Even Hanso thought that was a bit much-although he wouldn't mind seeing a statue of himself in Faerieland. In fact, maybe he should ask Fyora about that when he and Brynn got back. Oh, yes, he'd have to make sure to ask that they commission a statue of Brynn, too. As charming as Hanso was to look at, Brynn was just as charming, especially when she didn't have that helmet covering her face and hair.

Even a statue of a skeith guard would be better than a statue of Jazan. Ugh. What had Jazan been thinking?

Anyway, back to the task at hand. Hanso checked that the corridor was clear, and then peeked into the banquet hall. That probably wasn't where they were keeping the coffee, so he figured he would have to find the kitchen and sneak into there.

This wasn't going to be easy, but it would be worth it. So very worth it.

* * *

"So there's some royal function going on today?"

Hanso had sneaked into the library once again to chat with Brynn. "Yeah, Princess Amira is visiting. They're about to hold some kind of royal coffee party or something."

"I guess we should greet them," Brynn said. "You know, I do remember a servant this morning mentioning that we may have been invited to some sort of royal function, but I didn't know it was today."

"Oh, someone told you? I heard about it eavesdropping in the corridor."

"That figures. You've been sleeping late, so I don't think you were awake yet when the servant told me."

"...The medicine makes me sleep more."

"I know. I don't mind." Brynn sighed and shut the book in front of her. "Hanso, remember what you were saying the other day, about how King Jazan might have the scroll we're looking for?"

"I'm positive he has it. It just...makes sense, you know?"

"Well, my research is starting to agree with your gut feeling-"

"Haha, told ya I was right!"

"-shut up, so I'm going to send a message to Queen Fyora asking what we should do next. I'd appreciate it if you didn't steal the scroll in the meantime."

"No promises, Brynn. If I find myself in there, it would be silly of me to not take the scroll."

Brynn sighed heavily, crossing her arms over her chest and rolling her eyes. She looked absolutely adorable when she did that, although Hanso had quickly learned not to tell her so, since it always made her angry for some reason. "All right, but you know that King Jazan is probably going to ban you from ever entering Qasala again, right?"

"I can live with that. By the way, were you going to go to this royal coffee party?"

"Yes. Are you?"

"I'll go if you go. But, I have to warn you: don't drink the coffee."

Brynn first look confused, then her eyes widened. "Hanso, did you...?"

"Just take my word for it, okay?"

This time Brynn cringed. Her gaze met his, and she just shook her head. "What did you do to it?"

He grinned. "Why do you think I did something to it? That coffee just looks nasty."

"You're impossible."

"I know. Thanks for the reminder, sweetheart."

* * *

Hanso had no idea what the celebration was supposed to be about, or whether there was any celebration at all. Maybe rulers just visited each other for social calls. Although Hanso had mingled with royalty many times over the past year or so, he still didn't understand much about royal culture. Therefore, he often made a fool of himself at royal functions-calling them "parties," for example, tended to go over poorly. Brynn always seemed to know what she was doing, though she tended to lose her cool when she was required to wear a dress. She hated skirts.

Today's "royal function" was of the casual type, which meant that they were not required to dress up. This was for the best, since Hanso actually hadn't brought any formal clothing. He owned very few nice clothes; he had owned nothing formal until he started working with the Faerieland guards. Thankfully, he didn't have to dress up very often.

He still felt out of place, though. Almost everyone, including Brynn, was wearing some kind of outfit that identified themselves with their country of origin. For Brynn and the other soldiers or guards, that meant they were dressed in uniforms that depicted the colours and emblems of their country. (Brynn switched between Brightvale's green and white colours and Faerieland's pinks and purples. Today she was dressed for Faerieland.) Amira and Nabile always seemed to be finely dressed, and Jazan, well, even Hanso had to admit that his sense of style wasn't too bad. And then there was Hanso, wearing his well-worn sleeveless coat, dark purple shirt and dark trousers. He really stuck out, and not in a good way.

Pleasantries and idle chit-chat were exchanged. Enarka, one of Amira's advisors, even stopped to chat privately with him.

"How did you fare with that Clockwork Negg monster?" Enarka asked Hanso as they waited for the coffee to be served.

"Frankly, we didn't have to do anything. The Neopian public took care of that all on their own." Hanso watched as the servants finally brought the coffee and snacks. A mug, or bowl, really, was carefully placed at each seat, and each person also had a few small cake- or cookie-like things that looked like they were dusted with powdered sugar. Hanso had never seen them before, and he wasn't certain he wanted to try them, either.

"On behalf of the people of the Kingdom of Qasala, my husband and I welcome you here," Nabile, sitting at one end of the long table, began her little speech. "It is our heartfelt desire that our nations may continue down the path of peaceful relations."

"That is our desire, too." Amira started another speech, though Hanso found it boring and didn't pay attention. He glanced at Brynn, seated next to him, and saw that she looked uncharacteristically nervous.

He knew that an unlucky neopet had sneaked a taste of coffee when he heard someone suddenly spit it out.

"Is something wrong?" Nabile asked the ruki who had just spewed coffee all over himself.

"You taste it!" the ruki told her. "Is this what you call quality coffee? It tastes like salt water!"

Almost everyone else tried it with the same reaction. Hanso noticed that Brynn didn't touch hers. She'd heeded his warning. Though he tried hard to avoid looking at Jazan, he knew that the King of Qasala was glaring daggers at him. He could feel it.

"It appears as though the coffee may have sat unattended for too long." Jazan's voice was deceptively calm. "Or, perhaps, there was an...accidental addition...made to it." Hanso found it hard to keep from smiling. Oh yeah. Jazan had caught on right away. This was working out well. He motioned the nearest servant, a blue Aisha. "Neith, bring us some spiced tea instead. I assume that no one has tampered with that."

"Yes, your majesty." Neith curtsied and ran to do Jazan's bidding.

This was working out _very _well! Not only was Jazan redder than usual, they were being treated to Qasalan tea. That was much better than coffee, in Hanso's opinion.

* * *

"So what _exactly_ did you do to that coffee?"

"I put a little salt in it."

"A little?"

"More than a little."

It was now evening. The activities of the day had separated Hanso and Brynn after the royal coffee-then-tea party, and Hanso was just now able to tell Brynn what he'd done.

"It's a really old trick," he continued. "Salt and sugar look so similar that they're easy to switch out. I just went a little further and added it to the coffee before it was served!"

"I'm surprised King Jazan didn't blast you on the spot."

"I am, too. Maybe he didn't know it was me."

"I think he knew. I think he wanted to save face."

"Well, I don't know how well he did, since everyone's talking about it and how bad it made him look. Anyway, this aside," Hanso waved as if to brush the whole conversation aside, "I think we can finally fulfill our mission tonight."

Brynn groaned. "You mean you're going to break into the library, steal the scroll, and then flee, right?"

"You know me really well, don't you. Yeah, that's my plan."

"I still think we should contact Queen Fyora and see what she thinks."

"...You mean, you haven't yet?"

"...No," Brynn admitted. "I was hoping we'd find some other way to solve this, but..."

"My plan _will _work! It really will! And if it becomes public knowledge, it'll be pretty minor to the coffee incident, so no one will mind in the long run!"

"...I really don't understand your way of thinking sometimes."

"You don't, huh? That's a shame. I think Fyora knew where the scroll was all along. She knew I'd be the only one to figure it out, and since I'm her Master Thief, she knows I can take care of it without getting caught."

Brynn was silent for several minutes. Hanso wasn't sure if she was expecting him to say more or what, but just as he was about to elaborate, she finally spoke.

"All right. You get the scroll, I'll pack our things, and then we'll slip out and head back to Faerieland."

"You mean it?"

"Yes. If you're that certain, I know I couldn't stop you anyway. But, I warn you: we are going to have a LOT of explaining to do. And if I lose my job..."

"Don't worry, sweetheart, you won't." Hanso grinned. "After all, things always work out for us in the end, right?"

"...They'd better."

* * *

(The salt-in-coffee joke may or may not have been played by a few members of my family. We've got some big kids who never grew up in my extended family, and, well... Crazy things happen. Lots of crazy things.)


End file.
